Is It Just Me?

I often feel like its just me....that im the only one who gets it....that everyone else is just out to get me.....until I go to my friends house.

Today we went to a cookout at one of my closest friends house. Shes 11 days older than me(and still points that out....just wait til we turn 30 then I will be the one pointing that out!). We grew up together. Our mothers were friends. Her mother babysat me as a child. Her home was my home.

As people get older then tend to drift apart. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and she was having a cookout at her new house and invited us over. I was so excited. I wanted her to see how smart and beautiful Aurora is and I wanted to see how much Justin(her son) had grown since I last saw him. Plus, her boyfriend just got custody of his daughter Emily and I was so excited to meet her. This morning I packed up a few bags of clothes for Emily(that don't fit Aurora anymore) and a box of toys(that Aurora has no interest in) and I was completely stoked to visit with them.

We arrived at their house. They were completely charming. Thanking me left and right for bringing so much stuff. Saying how beautiful Aurora is and how she looks just like me(I don't see it). It was great! Her mom was there, who I haven't seen in a little over a year.. She told me how proud she was of me, and that is always nice to hear!

And then it happened....I walked into their house....and it was....SPOTLESS!

Not a toy in sight, not ONE SINGLE TOY IN SIGHT!

I know what your thinking. So what? Who cares? Whats the big deal?

I hate the fact that I have a apartment(not a house like my friend) full of Auroras toys. My apartment(not a house like my friend) is always a mess. No matter how hard I try to clean it up I feel like its always a mess, its always full of clutter and i am always behind on my to do list! Her house(unlike my apartment) had no dust, not one single dish in the sink, and a carpet that had zero stains on it.

I was so curious that I asked for a tour(thinking they all the toys and clutter were hiding in her sons room). And of course, no clutter, no mess, NOTHING! He had toys....IN BINS!

I obviously started putting myself down. How could her house be so clean? How could it always look like this? She works and has 2 kids to take care of. I stay home and only have one kid to care for. Am I doing something wrong?

As soon as we got home I ran to my computer and started looking at her pictures on facebook. And what do you think I saw? Clutter? Dust? Toys everywhere? NOPE! Even in her facebook pictures her house is clean. That's when I knew that she didn't just go on a cleaning rampage because she invited us over.

Let me give you a overview of my apartment(not house like my friend) my kitchen has dishes in the sink, you can barley see my kitchen table, our bedroom looks like a tornado hit it, you will step on toys if you walk in the hallway with the lights off and I have dust everywhere! Is there something wrong with me? Am I just doing this whole mommy thing wrong? I cant even keep a house clean let alone keep a house clean AND have 2 kids AND have a job. Bummer! What a disappointing day!